Some thoughts on Spiritual Affinity

Dedicated to the following in my memory of them:

Lim Wen Hong
Nuri Lim Wee Shee
Anish Raja Thanimalay
Uncle Vijay Saravanen Vasudevan
Cheng Choon Hsiang
Chan Kuo Wei
Lim Ju Vian (Juvian, a.k.a "Rapunzel")



The last article / blog post that I made gave a very strong emphasis on the causal relationship between the concept / idea of loveless-ness to the institution of marriage. In this post, I want to emphasize a certain aspect that holds a vital value to any relationship, be it friends, colleagues, partners, marriage, heated rivalry, any two way relationship; one keyword that remains elusive from the limelight; "Affinity".

What exactly is affinity? It itself is a terminology, and it also exist as a concept. In its pure, baisc form, affinity is the "natural liking, compatibility rate and prone-ness(fondness?) towards the attraction of one another". Affinity itself is not attraction, but here are some sentenced examples to describe them:

"He and she have affinity for one another"
"Badi has affinity for high speed rallys"
"She has an affinity for cooking"

So probably and hopefully, even if you're not a linguist you might get the jist, or have an idea of how the word is used. Having settled that, perhaps we can now move on to a working concept on "spiritual affinity".

Spiritual affinity is a slightly different concept from that of affinity. It includes and revolves itself around the scope to bring in light the context of spiritual values. Hence, spiritual affinity deals alot about creating and maintaining appreciation for the spiritual values within oneself and the other partner, as well as vice versa. Affinity is a two way process, and it isn't affinity if it is only one sided or one way.

I was thinking how to best elaborate this example when I was caught stranded for nearly few hours during my scooter's 'major operation' just this afternoon. Basically, by the time the scooter was returned to me, it felt like a different scooter and it reacted differently. Hence, I had to redevelop and reexamine the 'affinity' between us, the human rider and the machine. For now, that is the best example I can give.

Spiritual affinity is a key element in maintaining and growing relationships to another level. Whether positive or negative, it solely depends on our 'reaction' towards the new knowledge that we acquire about the spiritual values of the other person. In developing the spiritual affinity, we may see its fruits in terms of 'right chemistry', 'riding the same wavelength', 'thinking the same thing', 'on the same track of thought', etc. Basically, people with strong spiritual affinity may not act the same way, but their goals are the same. The same thing goes with their philosophy that guides their thoughts, action, and mind. These emotions that we show to appreciate the presence, thoughts, acts and words of others manifest itself in the form of love, where love for your own kin, love akin to your kin, love akin to the other soul, love akin to the friend, and many more. The admiration empathy is shown both way, and it bears to growth and exercise of other spiritual qualities in ourselves, like self-sacrifice, kindness, confidence, and so forth.

To provide deeper insight into spiritual affinity, I'll set up a case for example. Let us say, imagine, on a boy and a girl, say Jack and Jill. So they don't know each another, but Jack and Jill becomes 'acquintance'. As they communicate and do things together, they learn more about each another. While learning about each another, (whether directly, indirectly, intentionally or unintentionally), both Jack and Jill develops appreciation of their own spiritual qualities, as well as noticing and acknowledging the qualities in one another. Just for sake of simplicity, I will assume here that they now react positively to the discovery and appreciation of the spiritual qualities found within and between them. With this appreciation, Jack and Jill's affinity bears the fruit of friendship, and it happens naturally. The process is ongoing, and it doesn't stop, as they continue to communicate. Jack and Jill discovers some spiritual 'loopholes' in each another, but again they react positively to it, working on it, and thus the spiritual affinity is brought to a whole new level. At this point, they discover things like how each other mind's tendencies and mental models, as well as changing and adapting to the new discovery , if they react positively to that change and discovery.

Now, let's bring the test case to a higher ante. Jack and Jill work very well together. They don't exactly complement one another, but they appreciate the nature of each another, and has already developed empathy and tolerance towards each another's shortcomings, as well as appreciation for their strengths and good qualities. Here, assuming that 'love for one another' forms between them, they learn to ignore the bad side of things. However, the understanding that they have developed, the affinity which they attained is already quite solid, and it bears the fruits. In certain cases, Jack and Jill may not be a couple, but they retain the emotions, and attain a deeper appreciation for each another, just like perhaps say, a brother and sister, or very close, intimate friend. The level of intensity of the emotions may not be that high, but the affinity that has linked them together will still continue to develop, depending on the emotional reaction towards each another's changes and adaptations (also depends on the transformations that Jack or Jill experiences individually).


Hence, I end this subject, having allowed myself to present my thoughts as simple and as concise as possible. Should you have questions, please feel free to ask me, or drop a comment.