That beating heart (The moment of passing)

The heart that beats inside me, I don't know whether its big, small, or humongous, or tiny.

A few days ago I think I was hurt. I was scared I was. But it went smoothly, I don't know why. It strained, it wept, but then soon enough it was again pumping regularly energy into all the available bloodstreams all over in my body. Again, it felt like that moment, where I wanted to sing that "Alive!" by POD. The mood now I'm having is best characterized by being upbeat, optimistic, even though the background tune is "Yotsuba No Clover" and "Yawarakana Jikan" from Yuzo Hayashi. I don't think there's another alternative, but in the midst of that confusion i joined [PBSM], an acronym for "Persatuan Bujang Sampai Mati". It was clearly a joke, but it had both a humour and a sarcastic remark about it. I pray, that I may be protected as well.

Just like how I'm seeing that the highway I've rode on has now come to and end, and being with a scooter, I had to ride across a rugged terrain before hopping on to a new highway. Its rough, its tough, and certainly its a downtine to say, but that doesn't mean I didn't learn anything from it. It doesn't mean that I failed to gain anything from it. Now Sunehoir - Waltz is playing again. I really want to go out and embrace the morning sun in all its glory, and God grant me a part of his strength, a part of his wisdom for this servant full of idiosyncrasies.

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Here are the lyrics:

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After rubbing my heavy eyelids, I can see
the pastel patterned figure
I pursue the scattered symbols,
while forcing a happy smile.
What was it I was searching for?
That's right, when was it,
that time we met, while denying our attraction,
it was like a waltz, wasn't? Very mysterious,
at the crossing where the rays of light seemed to whisper.
We were portrayed as we spun,
like we were doing the waltz.
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Looking through closed eyelids
At a pastel patterened future
Persuing scattered codes
Pulling up facial expressions
Hey, what was it you were searching for
That was, yeah.. when was that
We met while we were fighting against gravity
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It was like a waltz, mysterious
Like a whispering at the criss-crossing of sunbeams
While they spun around as if waltzing
They were expressing something
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All their thoughts were beyond warm
The spit out landscape has ben
Smoldering for over half a year
Bring light to the image
What was it you lost
But still it's ok
Our gravity allows us to seek the comparisons
That was like a waltz, beautiful
While listening to some muttered chirps
It was like a waltz as those two
Were expressing something
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It was like a waltz, mysterious
Like a whispering at the criss-crossing of sunbeams
While they spun around as if waltzing
They were expressing something
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Ah,
Reality is playing dumb as we repaint it in primary colors
I'll bring it closer to you
From there let's continue dancing
A waltz just for us
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It was like a waltz, mysterious
Like a whispering at the criss-crossing of sunbeams
While they spun around as if waltzing
They were expressing something

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Thank you, everyone. For the sweet memories in May and June 2007. You've changed me.