A look into the so called name identity

Hi there, everyone.

I know that I've been unfaithful by not posting anything. In fact I have so many things that I want to post about, but I have not been able to. Guess I am lazy.

But what I'm going to post may be controversial. Here's what.

I suggest, for the sake of unity, Malaysians should rename themselves, follow the nationalistic approach of Thailand and Indonesia.

Heck, I don't mind if i can retain the word "Badi" in my name. "Hang Badi, Hang Jambul" or whatever. As long as the names are standardized.

Now, I am going to break some rules of blogging. I don't mean to, but I want to put the message across. And this is how I do it.

Anyways, here's the thing. 50 years of nationhood, and I'm a second generation Malaysian. Spesifically, of the chinese ethnic. Now, I think I once posted that there's something to be proud of being a Malaysian. No, its not about a countryman of mine going around earth's orbits or the even recent one about winning a silver medal in the Beijing Olympics for male's singles badminton (God dammit, we want the Thomas Cup!), or any of that sort. Its the passport. Noticeably, the most advanced passport in the entire earth. Heck, that's something to be proud of.

However, there's also something about the passport that irks me and many other people. You see, I hold a Malaysian passport. When I go to Singapore, I am called a Malaysian. When I go to any parts of the world, despite the fact that I have a similar skin tone to those of banana fruits (its an insider racist joke, folks) I am still called a Malaysian.

Heck, that's part 1.

Now, here's part 1 extended. A Malaysian friend of mine, of chinese ethnicity, "returned" to China. Why did I use "return" instead of 'visit'? That's because many chinese in Malaysia still thinks that China is their motherland. Irregardless of their generation. The term 'many' may be questionable, but it is still a sizable group of humans in a piece of land called Malaysia, who are somehow yellow skinned (or kins to yellow skinned people)and thinks that way too. Now here's the situation. He went back, and proudly proclaimed "I'm back to visit my motherland".

He turned a few chinese heads. And at one point, he got an answer "You're just a fucking Malaysian". End of story.

He 'came down' back to Malaysia. And the people called him "you're a Chinese!". Look at the nouns.End of story.


Heck, what's the point of upholding the name "Yee Tzyypirng" if my 'fucking' grandmotherland (since it ain't my motherland anyway) refuses to even recognize me as part of hers? No, i'm not insulting the Chinese nationality, and neither am I insulting Malaysian chinese, but hear me out on this one before you guys start to comment.

For years and generations the Malaysian chinese have argued that we ought to keep our names because it represents who we are. Culture, heritage, traditions. I say its all a lost game. Do you see Malaysian chinese kids running around greeting their elders with a bow? Do you see the young Malaysian chinese pausing in their steps to allow the elderly cross before them?

Heck, the point here I'm trying to put forth is that, we young Malaysians have our own culture, tradition and values that we uphold. Irregardless what race we are. But if we insist on being 'a part of a another group', please for the sake of upholding the argument, check the reality. I only think that the only 'real chinese' are people of Taiwan and people of Hong Kong. And when I meant by this, I meant the Han Chinese (not including the minor ethnic chinese of other chinese 'sub-race' [again the use of sub race is arguable]) (I hope this isn't a derogatory term for them). And I mean as in how they live, how they think, how they act, and how they presents themselves.

Those are the real 'fucking chinese'. Malaysians are just fucking Malaysians. You can try hard to be a chinese, but in the end you're just another 'ngoi chut yan' (outsider) to them. Now you can understand my angst. Because I think its time to really think forth and speak for ourselves where do we stand.

Change the name. Check. But does that mean we erode our rights to practice what we believe in? Definitely not! It's not like we can't celebrate the Chinese Lunar New Year, or have Dragon dance or Lion Dance thrown in to it. Even 'gwai lous' are doing lion dance in Australian chinatowns. It doesn't mean that because we give up our names, we give up our rights to live as we chose to.

I know many chinese are going up to be upset with what I've said. Some will call it substant-less, some will call it derogatory. Some will call me a traitor to the race.

But I put forth my opinions, and stand by with it. Because in any part of the world, I am just another Malaysian. And not a fucking Malaysian chinese. Because I'm quite fed up with racist elements in people around me. And I'm trying to propose a way to tackle the issue in the roots.

We should have changed our names 50 years ago.

And no, I don't know how the Indians and other natives of Malaysia think. I put this argument forth for West Malaysia situation. Sabah and Sarawak are alright in their way. That's why we have 'Sino's running around. They are Sabahans and Sarawakians in their own right.

On ICT, Teaching and Technology

A few years back down the memory lane, let's see... I was in Form 1. That would be year 1998.



I started having my own hotmail address. It was "hyperyouth@hotmail.com". It died after a year, due to inactiveness (I forgot to login). Then I had a new one, hyperyouth_firepower@hotmail.com. It was due to attributed to "Team Hyperyouth Syndicate". Then I started MIRC. And moved on to the most popular IM at that time, ICQ by Miranda. Little by little, I went on to Napster, and I went on to many other programs the beatiful World Wide Web had to offer.

The very first online MMORPG (Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game) that I tried was Utopia by SwerveGames. It still lives today. I play World of Warcraft now.



All of that in the year 1998. Imagine my joy of being an adolescent who was bestowed with these knowledge of the internet. Search engines were rudimentary, crude and direct to the point (look at Yahoo!) that it was basic, and no frills. To know a site search engine, it was like "godsent". To know the methods of searching through a search engine was to be an 'information angel'. You hoard the knowledge that you seek, and for once, you feel like you're ahead of your peers and time.



Until you suddenly realize, that the world wide web just made you look like a fool. But it was fun. I was able to get EVERYTHING (or almost) that I wanted to know.



While all these wonders took place, the only teacher that I knew that could rival my prowess and ability to use ICT was my father. Mr Yee Wai Chiong. He was the first of the 'non-malay' batch that entered UPSI. He was the first of the 'non-malay' batch that took up ICT (it was actually offered to him, really) in Education. And he graduated at late 1998. But that's not the point. Imagine his horror and surprise when he finds out that his own son was able to rival his abilities in using / implementing ICT, with exception of 3 programs (Database[the old DOS version], Adobe Photoshop and HTML programming). He still maintains that 'skill edge' in these 3 programs, but when it comes to broader application, I win. Hands down.



Now, at this moment, the situation is replicated, but not entirely. I am an English about-to-be teacher, and kids in schools (its a common thing to call even 17 year olds as 'kids') are going to be as good as I am, or even better. I am outclassed in almost all basics. Image / Video / Media manipulation, CSS, HTML, Java, C++ and various other programming language, the knowledge of hardware, the knowledge and practical application of hardwares and softwares, etc. And the same anxiety that befell my father 10 years ago is now replicated in me. Am I "up to date" enough to convince the kids that I'm relevant to their education? (Or at least able to provide a sufficent, useful / meaningful input) Am I in a position to guide, fascilitate and assist their learning should they wish to adopt the usage of ICT tools and skills? Am I only going to be an insult to their intelligence?



Today business web standards are on web2.0 standards. Whereas in communications we're already way past 3G, going into 4G (and nations advanced as Korea and Japan are already gearing up for 5G), and it will be ongoing, not waiting to stop. Amazing future lies ahead. Take a breather, grab all you can, move on. Take a step.



When my old man studied ICT in Education back in 1998, to the teaching community it was a marvel, an unwarranted future. A risk. Today, the very same level of understanding of ICT (compared as for these 10 years) would be "rudimentary", "crude" and "fundamentally out of date". Today, it (refers to the ICT in general) is a generic skill that every individual who proclaims to be a teacher is a 'must have'. Without it, one is a fail. I do not intend to fail my students. Not as of now, not as of 20 years later. I intend to keep up, and I intend to stay 'in tune'.



Welcome to the reality of ICT.

If it seems like its too late, the ever golden proverb proves otherwise. "It is always never too late". Happy reading, and happy looking forward on the fun side of ICT.



Mucha Gracias.

To Specialization

So here am I typing this out again (for the umpteenth time) on a personal notebook. I can't seem to access the Wi-Fi hotspot access in my hostel (maybe the administration should do something to alleviate the situation) because it seems that i'm out of range, even though I am indoors. Perhaps the walls, I don't know. I'm suspecting somehow the angle and the thickness of the walls actually presents itself as a form of signal inteference. If I could, I would like to make a self made coil (to strengthen the signal), but so far so good I have not been able to identify any good electronics shop anywhere in Larkin, Johor.

Speaking about Larkin, the theme today I would like to write more about specialization. You see, I have already been here for a week, but I have yet to find a decent laundrette here in Larkin. Erm, yes, the institution does have coin laundry machines but I don't use them because of one main reason: I find it more of a hassle to find the coins, grab a soap, determine which pair of clothes goes in first, which goes second, which goes together, which doesn't, etc and the entire process goes on, all the way to the “fold and store” stage. One can say I'm lazy, but I can live up with that tag if I have to; I just save lots of time and effort in which I can do something else.

So here's the deal about “specializing”. The government trains me, teaches me then proceeds on to offer me a 5 year contract to teach, train and tutor the future generation of the Malaysian population. By now you should have known (or guess intelligently) that I'm a teacher in training. So, it happens that I'm specilized in B.ed(TESL) or so my degree says, and I'm contracted to educate the general student populace on how to be proficient in English (in all aspects of it). Here's to note that there are other teachers as well, and they are specialized in different subjects. Thus far the question would be; can I deviate, and to what extent can I deviate?

Look no further for the answer. I can, and if I have to I will. No, I don't mean that I do have the capabilities to deviate, (just like my old man who I think he's a super teacher that can teach any subjects with the knowledge accessible right on his fingertips) but the needs of the situation may force the school administration to consider some form of deviation. For example, an English teacher to coach a futsal team (with little or very minimal knowledge about the game and the finer aspects to it).

On the other hand, let's look at this. I am hereby contracted to educate, to teach, and to enlighten the younger, innocent (yeah right) populace on English Language. And every aspect of it. That is because I am supposed to be the “expert”, or the “specialist” in that field. (English, my friend, English!) So while my colleagues who teaches science will come running after me asking “what's the matter”, I will be in turn bugging him / her (that poor soul) with the question “what's a matter”. That is specialization. We consult, we refer to those who are the specialist in the arena.

Well, lets take the idea of of “specialization” to a higher / deeper level here. Here's another situation. Now, as the government gives me the contract to educate the populace, I am compesated with imbues and allowances. They range from “life management allowances” to “home financing allowances”. Yes, the government of Malaysia is very generous. Unfortunately the cost of living is high, so don't fret. Its only an allowance. That is if you work for the government (I'm only a trainee, and therefore not eligible to apply for all these nifty things), my friend. Now, I have an issue. I need someone to take care of my food (because I can't be bothered to cook, and I can't really cook good food), and at the same time I need to look after my laundry. So, technically, here's how I do both; I sub-contract them. It is really simple. I give a lum sum to a diners to take care of my food, and I (am still trying to find one) fund a laundrette shop to take care of my laundries. So what I need to do is just go to the said premise, do what I have to do (whether I pick up, or dine in, or drop / pick up my laundry) and let the people who 'specialize' in their fields to do it for me. Solid idea, no? Even I am not an IT technical expert myself ( I am somewhat limited unlike many others on the general IT-literate populace out there), but I can take in a few sub-con jobs *cough* translation, editing *cough*. So yes, what I wrote here can be scorned at, because I may be giving the impression that I'm leading everyone “off to Holland” (its a Malaysian Chinese saying, that means to deviate way off course) in this post, but here's something that I would like to ask;

1)Who 'contracts' or 'subcontracts' you, and do you find yourself bridled in one single task?
2)The idea of giving someone to do something. Do you actually hire people to do it? Laundry, lawn cleaning, pipe repairs, etc.
3)How do you view yourself as a 'specialist' (if you see yourself that way?)

And dang, my laundry's just finished spinning. Now I have to hunt for clips and a place to dry them (not to mention to watch over them as people DO steal clothes nowadays) under the sun. Wait, the sky's dim. Ah, crap. I should have just sent it to the laundrette. Save my time and my effort.* Sigh! *

I went MIA + AWOL, but ain't it Wongey there?

Hello and Allah'u'Abha,

It has been a long time.

Some people may wonder if I had stopped writing alltogether. The answer is no. I couldn't shift the priorities and shuffle the tasks fast and efficient enough. Research papers, assignments. Every passing semesters only seeks to bring more and more workload, and I'm feeling the pressure.

http://yeetzyypirng2.blogspot.com

Go to here. This was my internet blogging assignment. You should see that the my style doesn't stray too far. Sorry for not copy-pasting here. I don't think its good.

However, it is really a bad attempt trying to look into things (especially issues pertaining selecting, choosing and teaching literature materials in classroom) with depth and maturity. The real issue with me is that I don't see what is maturity, what is depth. I need to develop these two qualities, and I will certainly be delighted in people giving advices. But I think that's about it.

Oh, speaking about advices, meet my good friend; Matthew Wong.
http://mattaiwong.blogspot.com/

I knew him since I was in Form 4 (I think that is Grade 9/10 I think for the US standards. Someone please enlighten me about it). So he's open up a blog; it talks about how he deals with Christianity. Please pay him a visit, drop a word if you wish to. He will be happy.

You can see what kind of character he is by peering into his writing. Unfortunately, the truth may be concealed as to how his mind works, because people will have some form of self-consciousness when they write in online, public blogs. Likewise, I am the same. But allow me to weave a string a words.

Matthew Wong. He is a devout Christian. And still is. His character has developed much spiritual depth. What I mean to see is that he has begin to harness his ability as a "spiritual radar" and detect people. He isn't an Inquisitor-like character, far from it. He does not bother himself with trvilialities. Every time I meet him; he changes. He evolves, he changes. He is like a book, with many sub chapters, hyperlinks, and the more you read about him (or technically, the more you know him) the more there is to him that yet remains undiscovered / unknown to you. But I know his basic self. He is, after all, a meek, kind soul.

I call him Wongey. I know he won't like it when I say it out here, but I can't help it. It isn't his pet name, you see. But I have the tendency to call him that. You, as my readers, I trust that you'll keep this to yourself, and you don't have to mention a word about it. I just want to show you, that he and I, our stories goes way back. Way back. Perhaps if he writes about me, maybe you'll know more about me.

Oops, I'm straying off again. Well, Matthew is a on-site manager. He specializes in one thing; estimating and managing resources and materials on-site (construction). This goal of his, strayed off his original intention to be an internal design specialist, but I guess he may have a change of heart. But as far as I'm concerned, he likes it. He likes what he is now. He has time to serve God, and he has the time to serve the people. God bless his soul. Halleluyah, Amen. May God bestow the bounties of this world and the world thereafter to him.

Wongey may not seem like it, but in him there's ingeniuty. A pure genius. You see, his ingeniuty does not come from pure cognitive processing capabilities. It is reinforced, enhanced with his vision and his soul's purity. What sort of purity? His intent. His intent, is always, questionably good. I use the word "questionably" because some people will misconstrue his gestures, but he has everyone in his heart.

I remember my father once said that people like Matthew can be dangerous. They can remain pure, and then suddenly, if something can go wrong, they'll snap. And be very wicked people they be. But Matthew, has always (and I pray that he will always be) the idealistic Matthew who aims for the sky while literally flying on a rocket. I am sure that you can work out the drift. I'm not trying to be cryptic nor metaphorical. I'm just being.. me.

Oh well, I guess that is about Matthew, with lack of depth, and lack of maturity. I mean, my writing piece of course. But I think it is more than sufficient for you to see Wongey in the same way I do. Perhaps. We shall see.

Well, I'm off. I want to play. =)

See you all soon.

A birthday, 3 trips and 3 angels.

Firstly; happy birthday to myself (Nov 5th)

Then, happy birthday to my pops, who's born on 5th Nov.

Then happy birthday to Chee Meng, who's born on the 6th November.

And a moment of silence and vigil to commemorate the passing of the Guardian of the Baha'i Faith, Shoghi Effendi on the 4th of November, 50 years ago.

Done? I did mine.

For many years in my life, the literal term of “angels” doesn’t make any sense to me. Yes, I’ve heard that angels are female creatures with wings, draped in white, and there are many similar creatures in the same “class” as angels. Valkyries, (defenders of the Valhalla realm) for example are a different breed of angels, but they serve their purpose by physically protecting the realm, as well as being empowered to be able to help others to do so.

But let’s not detract too far out from the topic, shall we? After all, I’m just making some muses. However, yesterday was a very special day for me. Yes, I went and did some research for SEDS-UM, (Social & Economic Development Services – Universiti Malaya) for the program SRD (Science & Religious Discourse), and we were the few selected to fulfil the grant by literally making surveys. But let’s also not concentrate on that, shall we? So I went to UIAM, and contacted some friends, and we went to an Aildilfitri open house in Rawang. (That was in noon) That morning alone I made a trip from Klang to Kuala Kubu Baru, where the future site of the South East Asia Mashrikul-Adkar (The House of God) laid.

So, traveling, and angels, what is the connection? Literally put to say, I drove some angels around from UIAM to Rawang. However, my “mission” failed as after one accident the car that I drove refused to start and we could not reach the destination. The battery was so weak that the mechanic said that it needs to be replaced. Mechanics are like computer technicians. They do their trades based on techniques and skills available to them. It is just like tweaking a computer, just that one is mechanical, the other is electrical (or electronic) in nature.

And so, yes, I went do did a survey with the 20 or more students that I got from UIAM. I got to know them from TCW (read below for the post on “3 Days in UIAM” for more info). So this time I got to know 2-3 more individuals better. Nevertheless, it was fun. I came back home quite bitter because I couldn’t complete the trip, and I felt responsible for the damage of the two other cars (although I just can’t stop helping to think why some of my friends who heard what had happened could be so irresponsible if they were in my shoes).

However, at least we made it safely, and no one was injured. But when I look at the same gang of UIAM students, it was really fantastic. The three angels that I rode with told me that we’ll all share the cost, but as fantastic as it sounds, no. I don’t want to. I’m the driver, and I wanted to send them to have some fun. Not to fork out cash for the crash.

If that’s a birthday present from God, I’ll gladly take it. Heck, this incident IS one heck of a present. I think I want to know these people further. I really want to.

Thanks for the birthday present, God. Now I wish I could contribute back to the society more. =)

In case you didn't know...

In case you didn't know, the midi file that constantly loops in this blog is "Faraway Promise". It is from the game "Xenogears", a lovely, brilliant and nice game from Squaresoft + Enix (Now known as Square Enix). In case you didn't know, "Xenogears" was supposedly the 5th installment of "Xenosaga", but done before Xenosaga was out.

In case you didn't know, I failed to update the site because of the 1 month full of crapload that I had to went too. In case you didn't know, I sat for my third paper today. There are 3 more to go.

In case you didn't know, I had few shocking news yesterday which involves the case of welfare for a certain family. I am bitter that a dream is lost.

In case you didn't know, I am trying to change myself to be a better individual, knowing that now I have many things to lose, and I don't want to lose them.

In case you didn't know, there was a new roommate (and housemate) in my house. His name is Aiman Arif Mazlan, and we call him "Jalut". Happy homecoming.

In case you didn't know, 5th of November is approaching, and its another birthday. In case you didn't know too,on the 6th of November I'll sit for my 4th paper out of 6 paper.

In case you didn't know, this year did not turn out so good for me. I'm hoping to change this by next year.

In case you didn't know, the topic and the theme for this blog is "In case you didn't know"...

In case you didn't know, I seem to have an audience from all around the world. It is surprising, refreshing and inspiring. In case you didn't know, I also did not know about this until recently.

In case you didn't know, I'm working to expand on and re-examine the ideas that sustain the concept of "SuperEgo" by Sigmund Freud. In case you didn't know too, I already had drawn a prototype theory on how to make calculations possible for empirically measuring the strength of the "SuperEgo", but that depends if my expanded theory on the SuperEgo is accepted first. In case you didn't know, I didn't know who to turn to propose this expanded theory of mine.

In case you didn't know, I've just typed the word "In case you didn't know" up to this point by 19 times.

In case you didn't know, the number 9, 19 and 95 draws a significant importance in the Baha'i Faith. In case you didn't know, it is not a superstition, but rather draws from the historical importance as well as the prophecies by Baha'u'llah (Peace be upon Him) himself.

In case you didn't know, at this point, I really don't know what else I could write.

In case you didn't know, I always like interacting with people over the internet. Forums, MSN, Facebook (hyperyouth_firepower[at]hotmail[dot]com). Even in this blog too. I appreciate when people drop by and say a word or two. =)


In case you didn't know, I really appreciate you for dropping by. Thanks again.

A long procastinated thought on Nurin

Dear Nurin,

You know, its very hard for me to ignore the fact that you were used, abused, and only God knows what possible horrors that you've had to go through. Its been quite some time, and now everyone wants blood.

I sit in front of my computer screen, would this be the best move? I had may questions, Nurin. Many.

I am a self styled scholar. I'm still studying you see. We are asked to study many things, and in return we're asked to contribute what we've learnt back to the communities. Just like that. Sounds simple, no?

But then again, I gave a thought of myself being a father (I'm a godfather of 2 children, and more to come, really.) I can't bear to think the possibility of what had happened to you to happen to my two godchildren. I just can't. Its too horrifying. Then again, I thought. I don't think its ever good to glorify the past.

But then, what can we do? You're already in the next world. I hope that God will always have you protected there. You deserve many things like other children. You certainly do.

But people want blood now. And they sing, and they chant, and they do many things. I am helpless but to think should I just send your parents my condolences, or in time just sit here and wait for the news of (hopefully) the capture of your tormentor. Vigilante. A possibility.

In time, the story will wind down, as all national stories will, well within 30 days (You know, there's something called the 30-day-story-theory" in Malaysia?) before the memories of you (at least in the press) gets chucked away under the carpet, or God knows where.

***Continued after a long physical break***

It has been weeks now, and the community still cry for the blood of your tormentor. I am amazed, that the fervour still appeals to people. They want justice, they demand it now. I just hope that in the frenzy, the REAL perpetrator, the REAL culprit will be caught. And let it be that (we pray) this will teach everyone involved directly or indirectly a lesson; crime doesn't pay.

And while the country watches, I pray for the progress of your soul in the next world. God be with you always, Nurin.

When one have persona(s) that clashes

The problem with having more than an individual persona is that they tend to clash, big time.

Let me get to draw the current situation.

Badi wants things to go as it is. Stability is key.
Sato cries for more action in the act.
Joker demands more artistic approach, a sight to behold,
Ghost wants more movements in politics and national affairs.
Essence prefers to write more on poetry.

So tell me, should I have written 3-4 blogs and kept them different at times?
Nah, I can't. Cognitively too stressing and it will just set the rift further apart, and worse, its just going to be more rants. Hell, who reads useless rants?

Then again, its (the blog) something that I use to pen down my thoughts before they get lost forever, even though the thought may resurface after some time, triggered by the keywords / situations. Then again, on cultural reference vis a vis to the political observations, or just rants and comments vis a vis criticisms and scholarly remarks, a fine balance have to be struck, yet maybe not just this blog. Perhaps later, perhaps we'll see how we can try to fit in the elements that I wish to have it recorded here. We'll see how it goes.

Rather, somehow, during a 'conference', we agreed we need more organization in our posts. Perhaps.

Tune in to hear more in a few days time. This will serve as a reminder as well.

And I'm thinking should I join the others in spreading the word? Hmm..

Restless and agitated

Unfortunately for me, music is always my 'booster' pack. The point i'm trying to make is that, now i'm restless, full of energy, and full of misplaced enthusiasm.

All caused by music.

I may have been listening to trance and quite a number of rock songs, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm easily emotionally swung around with music.

Sounds crazy?
Nah.

Now its Bomfunk MC's with "Freestyler" in it. It was featured extensively in Pro Evolutio Soccer / Winning Eleven series.. I forgot which year. But it was damn fun.

People like us, beat sensitive...

Hmm...

On me, by me, to me, for me.

Second day in a row that i did not fast.

Hey, am I obligated to fast? No. But I'm asking myself to do it. *Hurrah!*

So what's the big deal? There's lot of big deal.
I have not been fasting properly, as in waking up before sunrise, pray, and then do whatever one has to, and fast, and pray, and break fast during sun set.

No, I have not, and I, really, really feel darn bad about it.

But that's not the major issue. The major issue is what's going on in my head and my soul.

The meeting has already begun, and its ongoing. And it hurts, and it sucks. Why? That's because right now, there are representatives in my head (oh yes, think of it like a royal court with a king, a jester, and the representatives all arguing on matters) arguing about whether I'm doing things right, wrong, or do I need some help.

Right now, the case is... I'm heading back to the self destructive methods which I was on few years back. I really can't take care of myself, can I?

As cheesy as it sounds, I'm all alone, and all alone. No one to see, no land in sights, and still going in circles in a sea of nowhere, and no map, and clueless exactly where I am. Analogically speaking.

No, I know that I'm a student in UPM, and my goal is to study well, get my arse back to Sabah (where I should have been) and serve the ummah there. And in the process I'm supposed to be wiser, more tolerant and more responsible person.)

I just can't tolerate myself. Do I require myself to undergo psychotherapy again? (Or was there in the first place? Oh yes, for my case of multiple personality and schzopreniac (or how they spell it again?)

Dang. Could it be that I'm upset at how things have turned out, and because of the fact that I can't move on when I fail to complete the single tiny winy thing, the world rotates and I had allowed myself to drop behind?

That's more like it. How do I deal with it?

You know, when you do A, B, C all the way to Z.
And when you get stuck at F. Do you repeat until it gets through (or you get it right) or do you skip?And worse still, what happens if you keep going back to F even though you've moved on? And keep dwelling in the past?


I have a nasty habit of going back to F and repeating it until I say "let's move on". That's a bad trait, no?

The world rotates, and I'm left behind.
If you think you can help me, or wish to offer any form of advise / guidance, feel free. You know my hotlines, and where / when you can reach me. =)


Sigh. Bummer. Dang. Crap. Oh, bejeezuz. Snap.

I am totally lost. Anyone, anything?

better be 21!

You Are 21 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Ahahaha


XD

A long week [Part 1]

I'll post what I remember.

29th August, 2007. After the blog that I have posted on 29th of August (12:00am morning), and that would officially dictate the longest days I've ever had in my entire life. Excruciating, fun, all rolled up in one day. Here's what happened.

:

I woke up, and went to class. I missed the "Bimbingan & Kaunseling" class so that I could quickly get the letter for UIA's event done, pronto. Big issue. Took up the whole day, really, with little to eat and sleep. That reminds me, I still owe Juvian RM10. Finally, after a hard day, there was only 3 hours before test. The dreaded Pn Juridah's novel test. I think I flunked. I don't know.
Then later, we got a dance practice, and it took us all the way past into midnight. But here's where the "fun" begins.
In cabin, with mosquito stings, insect bites, Aida's radio (using her Sony Ericson handphone), and lots of chatter and banter while we worked on our masks (Pn. Juridah wanted it on Thursday, duh..) we worked our toil and sweat till dawn approaches... 6AM. Yes, I headed back, because there wasn't any class for Dr. Arshad, and slept, until Pn. Juridah's class came along. We showed her mask, and hastily constructed a play. A sacrifice, but it was unanimous decision, and it was beginning to look fun for us. Not quite the fun, you see... But still quite some fun.

So that rolls... to...

30th August, 2007.

We left class early, because Pn Juridah ended it early. Typically her style, or sometimes late. LOL. So with nothing to do, and with most of the "what I have to do" done, I head back and rested. Not so much of a good move, but because it was already raining, a beautiful sleep was much appreciated. Later that early evening, I headed out again to K15 under the request of our class rep Maninder, but I could only find 2 bus operators. There's a story later, which I'll detail it out under the title "The Bus ORDEAL".

Suffice to say, I only managed to ask two friends to help me out, Zarrin, and well, Ady. They helped me out in two different ways, but at least we got two numbers. (Ady's help was on the latter week, you'll see how). One by the name of unc Kavi, one by the name of the bus operator Suasana Edaran Sdn. Bhd (with the UPM LOGO on it, oh yeaaah baby!)

One thing was, my cousin's family flew in from Sabah, to attend Haw Jatt's convocation (and I was very anxious to retrieve my brand new Seiko 5 Sports calibre 7t92 watch which my father had just bought around April for me)

Of course, it was about to rain, and no, so I didn't went down to KL Plaza. Not today, not just yet.

But two long days, and here's where things started to spice up, when I went to Putrajaya. That will be part 2. For now.

And its about time to go to UIA. Anytime soon!