A loner's path

Something struck me while I was eating with my extended family (with my uncle and his extended family) for chinese new year buffet (in his mother in law's house). Yes, being a chinese somewhat allows a huge family community to be connected. Its the essence of what it means to be a chinese; the idea of a communal livelihood that extends not only to the immediate nuclei family, but as well to the extended family and the communal family.

The idea of having large extended family, having to meet each other; it allows a somewhat lopsided version of a small "country" by itself. It is a form of a community support system that has been brought down, the idealogy passed for generations after generations, especially in immigrant based communities like my late grand parents'. So every now and then, whenever we have a really huge festival for Chinese New Year, its always back to the basics; visit the elder's house, everyone gathers and camps for the day.

With the rise of individualism and materialism, these core values that many of us (we're spesifically talking about children of the 2nd, 3rd and subsequently 4th generation) are now conveniently forgetting. Its sunk; eroded by the values and commonalities of the modern era. Not that I'll attribute myself being allowed to be sucked into upholding the latter culture; I myself had allowed myself to lead myself to a big hole unknowingly all the while. Yet, it is a battle on my side that I'll have to fight on my own; to be comfortable with masses of people who I'll be linked to as extended families of sort.

Nowadays, in the past recent 2-3 years; I admit that I myself don't go back to either my father's side or my more endeared mother's side of the family. (Maternal) However, the fact that I don't return to my mother's side will eventually have a side effect; I wil definitely return to a culture and a subculture of new; or evolved values where I'll find myself definitely shocked and awed: That's what isolation for years makes me; an indifferent individual who's shrouded with a stench of individualism.

No, I'm not saying individualism is bad; there must always be a balance of individualism and collectivism; a balance is always necessary.

But when complete individualism takes precedence over core communal factors, its time to revise our tracks and our destination in life.